When life throws us curve balls and we get knocked down, many people have the ability to get up and try again. However, if we have been struggling with our mental health or facing a mental health diagnosis, this might be an even more difficult task.
Ultimately, it is when we as humans can build on the inner-most skill of resiliency, especially during times of strong adverse situations, that is of utmost importance. For some it could be having to be away from loved ones to work in another state, being deployed for an uncertain amount of time, or the harder situations of losing a loved one to cancer.
Personally, I have experienced losing a parent to terminal cancer. During the time of watching my father slowly decline, it was in those moments I was building my resiliency without even realizing it. At the time, I didn’t see it that way until within the last two years of his passing.
Being resilient, of course, is no guarantee that you will just skate by without having any difficulties in life. But here are some tips on how you can build resiliency while you are going through the tough moments to ‘soften the hardship,’ if you will.
Take care of yourself: this could mean practicing self-care, allowing yourself to not be neglected, and eating regular meals. When I used to work with individuals facing chronic homelessness in Fort Worth, I would always tell them: “You have to take care of #1 before anyone or anything else in your life.”
Avoid using maladaptive coping skills to justify the means for behaving in specific ways, (I’m just going to eat this ice cream because I know it will cause me to be sick, as I’m lactose intolerant.)
Give yourself permission to utilize the word “no”. It can be used alone or made into a complete sentence. While it may seem easier to give in and do things for others, especially if the sense of guilt is placed on us, this can also have negative consequences for us.
Establish/re-establish boundaries if needed. This goes back to #3 as we shouldn’t be afraid of letting people down at the expense of our own mental or physical health as well.
Maintain an optimistic mindset or outlook. While that could be a challenge for some of us, it’s an opportunity to discover our inner strength.
Life doesn’t get easier or more forgiving, we get stronger and more resilient.
- Steve Maraboli, LIfe, the Truth, and Being Free
What does it mean to be crazy? To have a disorder of the mind. But “disorder” can only exist if there is some kind of predetermined “order” set in place. And who decides on order relative to the human mind? Human society. Sane and insane is a judgment based on perspective. And according to many other perspectives within this universe, it is human society that is rampant with disorder. SO there is no reason to think of yourself as insane; if the very mindset of the society that determines whether you are sane or insane… is in and of itself insane!”
- Teal Scott